New review of Heroes, starring Preity Zinta and Salman Khan

Blogging Bollywood: Review of Heroes here. It's bad news, I'm afraid.

Amitabh Bachchan To Launch His Own Perfume [Bollywood Smell]

Amitabh Bachchan is to launch his own perfume.

He has been in Paris recently finalising all the details. In the latest of his long, rambling blog entries, the creaking old man related his trip. Under discussion were his cancelled Eurostar trip from from London to Paris, the Parisian weather, the Eiffel Tower, trouble in Islamabad, universal suffering, a quaint little small cozy restaurant, theatre des Champs-Elysees to witness a modern fusion ballet, the Eastern Quarter, Boulevard Saint Germain, Karl Lagerfeld, Marcello Mastrioni, Catherine Deneuve, an Indian crafts exhibition, Ravi Shankar and Anushka Shankar and French's hidden love affair with India.

No more details on the perfume are available as yet, but perhaps we can expect Big B's brand to evoke the scent of freshly chewed paan?

Irfan Khan Forces His Kids To Skip School [Bollywood Education]

Maverick actor and irresponsible father Irfan Khan forces his kids to skip school so he can spend more time with them.

The star of The Namesake, Life In A Metro and Maqbool says, in an interview with The Hindustan Times,

"I always take my wife and two sons to as many outdoors as possible, even if it means making my kids skip school. It's the only way we have of finding time together. In fact I'm out of Mumbai shooting till the end of the year. And I'll try to get them to come with me whenever possible."

But while hanging out with dad on a boring film set might not sound like the ideal holiday from school, and least there is a consolation prize for the little Khans - they get to watch Bollywood hottie, and former Miss Universe, Lara Dutta getting attacked by snakes!

Khan recalls how a poisonous snake entered Lara's room at night while the cast was filming in Pollachi in Coimbatore district for the film Billo Barber - Lara didn't panic at all.

"To her credit, Lara handled the situation very sensibly and bravely, probably because she didn't know how poisonous the snake was. If it had bitten her it would've been disastrous," Irrfan said.

The actor, who plays the barber's role in the film that also stars Shah Rukh Khan, obviously has a sot spot for the actress,

"I've realised that facing the camera with her was as challenging as co-starring with Tabu or Dimple Kapadia. Lara is the most underrated actress I've worked with."

Last Lear Premiere Cancelled Due To Mumbai Thugs [Raj Thickeray]

The Last Lear has had its Mumbai premiere cancelled due to the violence of bigoted far-right nationalist thugs.

The Shakespeare inspired independent film starring Preity Zinta and Amitabh Bachchan was due to premiere at PVR in Juhu, Mumbai, but following mindless attacks by goons from the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena party this has been cancelled.

Raj Thackeray, a narrow minded, publicity loving agitator on the fringes of local Mumbai politics, apparently ordered his colleagues to tear down posters of The Last Lear and break glass panes around the cinema, in retaliation for a perceived slight against the people of Maharashtra by Big B's wife Jaya Bachchan.  In fact, Mrs Bachchan had already apologised for her entirely reasonable remark, which was wilfully misconstrued by the MNS in order to generate more column inches for themselves and their distasteful brand of xenophobic politics.

The director of The Last Lear, Rituparno Ghosh, says the film will be released on schedule on 12th September.

Bachchan Puts Foot In It, Angers Bigots [Bollywood Blooper]

Jaya Bachchan has inadvertently angered paranoid and bigoted Maharashtra Navnirman Sena leader Raj Thackeray.

Following alleged "anti-Marathi" utterances, dimwitted MNS activists went on the rampage in Mumbai, tearing down posters of films featuring members of the Bachchan family. Bachchan had been addressing a group of Hindi speaking journalists at a Hindi film function in Mumbai on Saturday night, and had said:

"People of Maharashtra, please excuse me. I am from Uttar Pradesh so I will speak in Hindi."

Jaya, speaking to reporters late on Monday, apologised and said the comments made by her were completely unintentional and that no one should take them seriously. She said:

"I am extremely sorry if any of my comments have hurt the sentiments of the people here. It was said casually and without any prejudice. I have the deepest regard for the state and its language. I can even speak Marathi well and I will have respect for the state till the end of my life."

Thackeray Monday demanded an unconditional apology from Bachchan, failing which the party would prevent screening of all films starring any of the Bachchans in Mumbai. He said that the actress had "insulted" the state and its people under the guise of promoting the national language.

The untrained police, somewhat inevitably, did nothing as hooligans went on the rampage and caused criminal damage in Mumbai.

Khan Stop Thinking About Tomorrow [Bollywood Extravaganza]

Jowly thespian Aamir Khan is set to share the stage with fellow Bollywood icon Shah Rukh Khan as part of the latter's Temptations Reloaded tour.

In a bid to top creaking Bollywood grandad Amitbabh Bachchan's recent - and eventually cancelled - Unforgettable Tour, SRK has managed to sign up Aamir Khan to share the stage with him.

Others likely to be appearing are tiny ex-Miss World Priyanka Chopra, Malaika Arora and Arjun Rampal. Leggy, vacuous model Katrina Kaif, who was due to appear, has been thrown off the tour by King Khan following the argument between him and Salman Khan at her birthday party.

Bad Acting In Bollywood Is The White Man's Burden [Token Honky]

Bad acting in Bollywood is the white man's new burden - Westerners are now complaining about being exploited in the Indian film industry.

White Westerners are regularly employed by producers to fill out scenes set in foreign locations. Backpacking travellers are often picked up in the tourist district of Colaba in Mumbai. But whitey is fighting back after complaints of being exploited, Screen India reports.

Most Westerners feature in the backdrop of scenes as scantily dressed dancers in nightclubs or drinking at bars. Evan Hunter, 17, from San Diego in the United States was told he would receive 500 rupees for a day's work, but according to industry players the rate should have been at least 2,000 rupees for 14-hours of work. He was promised free breakfast, lunch and drinks but was made to pay for some items. And he had to spend most of the day waiting outside the crumbling studios in the heat, before the casting agent tried to leave without paying him.

"Everyone felt used. We expected to be pampered more. We were told it would be a great Bollywood experience but we left disappointed,"

he said. Matthew Ince, 19, from London, concurred.

"I was not told what to do - I was really confused. I expect this is a low-budget film. I thought it would be more glamorous,"

said Ince, who is travelling around India.

Perhaps Westerns should wise up and stop complaining - after all, you're lucky to be on the screen at all, as one casting agent's quote clearly reveals: "I try to find anyone who is white. They do not have to be beautiful."