Backstage Bollywood

New review of Heroes, starring Preity Zinta and Salman Khan

2008-10-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

Blogging Bollywood: Review of Heroes here. It's bad news, I'm afraid.

Amitabh Bachchan To Launch His Own Perfume [Bollywood Smell]

2008-09-22T01:44:00.000-07:00

Amitabh Bachchan is to launch his own perfume.

He has been in Paris recently finalising all the details. In the latest of his long, rambling blog entries, the creaking old man related his trip. Under discussion were his cancelled Eurostar trip from from London to Paris, the Parisian weather, the Eiffel Tower, trouble in Islamabad, universal suffering, a quaint little small cozy restaurant, theatre des Champs-Elysees to witness a modern fusion ballet, the Eastern Quarter, Boulevard Saint Germain, Karl Lagerfeld, Marcello Mastrioni, Catherine Deneuve, an Indian crafts exhibition, Ravi Shankar and Anushka Shankar and French's hidden love affair with India.

No more details on the perfume are available as yet, but perhaps we can expect Big B's brand to evoke the scent of freshly chewed paan?

Irfan Khan Forces His Kids To Skip School [Bollywood Education]

2008-09-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

Maverick actor and irresponsible father Irfan Khan forces his kids to skip school so he can spend more time with them.

The star of The Namesake, Life In A Metro and Maqbool says, in an interview with The Hindustan Times,

"I always take my wife and two sons to as many outdoors as possible, even if it means making my kids skip school. It's the only way we have of finding time together. In fact I'm out of Mumbai shooting till the end of the year. And I'll try to get them to come with me whenever possible."

But while hanging out with dad on a boring film set might not sound like the ideal holiday from school, and least there is a consolation prize for the little Khans - they get to watch Bollywood hottie, and former Miss Universe, Lara Dutta getting attacked by snakes!

Khan recalls how a poisonous snake entered Lara's room at night while the cast was filming in Pollachi in Coimbatore district for the film Billo Barber - Lara didn't panic at all.

"To her credit, Lara handled the situation very sensibly and bravely, probably because she didn't know how poisonous the snake was. If it had bitten her it would've been disastrous," Irrfan said.

The actor, who plays the barber's role in the film that also stars Shah Rukh Khan, obviously has a sot spot for the actress,

"I've realised that facing the camera with her was as challenging as co-starring with Tabu or Dimple Kapadia. Lara is the most underrated actress I've worked with."

Last Lear Premiere Cancelled Due To Mumbai Thugs [Raj Thickeray]

2008-09-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

The Last Lear has had its Mumbai premiere cancelled due to the violence of bigoted far-right nationalist thugs.

The Shakespeare inspired independent film starring Preity Zinta and Amitabh Bachchan was due to premiere at PVR in Juhu, Mumbai, but following mindless attacks by goons from the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena party this has been cancelled.

Raj Thackeray, a narrow minded, publicity loving agitator on the fringes of local Mumbai politics, apparently ordered his colleagues to tear down posters of The Last Lear and break glass panes around the cinema, in retaliation for a perceived slight against the people of Maharashtra by Big B's wife Jaya Bachchan. In fact, Mrs Bachchan had already apologised for her entirely reasonable remark, which was wilfully misconstrued by the MNS in order to generate more column inches for themselves and their distasteful brand of xenophobic politics.

The director of The Last Lear, Rituparno Ghosh, says the film will be released on schedule on 12th September.

Bachchan Puts Foot In It, Angers Bigots [Bollywood Blooper]

2008-09-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

Jaya Bachchan has inadvertently angered paranoid and bigoted Maharashtra Navnirman Sena leader Raj Thackeray.

Following alleged "anti-Marathi" utterances, dimwitted MNS activists went on the rampage in Mumbai, tearing down posters of films featuring members of the Bachchan family. Bachchan had been addressing a group of Hindi speaking journalists at a Hindi film function in Mumbai on Saturday night, and had said:

"People of Maharashtra, please excuse me. I am from Uttar Pradesh so I will speak in Hindi."

Jaya, speaking to reporters late on Monday, apologised and said the comments made by her were completely unintentional and that no one should take them seriously. She said:

"I am extremely sorry if any of my comments have hurt the sentiments of the people here. It was said casually and without any prejudice. I have the deepest regard for the state and its language. I can even speak Marathi well and I will have respect for the state till the end of my life."

Thackeray Monday demanded an unconditional apology from Bachchan, failing which the party would prevent screening of all films starring any of the Bachchans in Mumbai. He said that the actress had "insulted" the state and its people under the guise of promoting the national language.

The untrained police, somewhat inevitably, did nothing as hooligans went on the rampage and caused criminal damage in Mumbai.

Khan Stop Thinking About Tomorrow [Bollywood Extravaganza]

2008-09-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Jowly thespian Aamir Khan is set to share the stage with fellow Bollywood icon Shah Rukh Khan as part of the latter's Temptations Reloaded tour.

In a bid to top creaking Bollywood grandad Amitbabh Bachchan's recent - and eventually cancelled - Unforgettable Tour, SRK has managed to sign up Aamir Khan to share the stage with him.

Others likely to be appearing are tiny ex-Miss World Priyanka Chopra, Malaika Arora and Arjun Rampal. Leggy, vacuous model Katrina Kaif, who was due to appear, has been thrown off the tour by King Khan following the argument between him and Salman Khan at her birthday party.

Bad Acting In Bollywood Is The White Man's Burden [Token Honky]

2008-09-07T05:22:00.000-07:00

Bad acting in Bollywood is the white man's new burden - Westerners are now complaining about being exploited in the Indian film industry.

White Westerners are regularly employed by producers to fill out scenes set in foreign locations. Backpacking travellers are often picked up in the tourist district of Colaba in Mumbai. But whitey is fighting back after complaints of being exploited, Screen India reports.

Most Westerners feature in the backdrop of scenes as scantily dressed dancers in nightclubs or drinking at bars. Evan Hunter, 17, from San Diego in the United States was told he would receive 500 rupees for a day's work, but according to industry players the rate should have been at least 2,000 rupees for 14-hours of work. He was promised free breakfast, lunch and drinks but was made to pay for some items. And he had to spend most of the day waiting outside the crumbling studios in the heat, before the casting agent tried to leave without paying him.

"Everyone felt used. We expected to be pampered more. We were told it would be a great Bollywood experience but we left disappointed,"

he said. Matthew Ince, 19, from London, concurred.

"I was not told what to do - I was really confused. I expect this is a low-budget film. I thought it would be more glamorous,"

said Ince, who is travelling around India.

Perhaps Westerns should wise up and stop complaining - after all, you're lucky to be on the screen at all, as one casting agent's quote clearly reveals: "I try to find anyone who is white. They do not have to be beautiful."

Bollywood Is So Unexpectedly Awesome, Says Denise Richards [Bollywood Hollywood]

2008-09-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

After struggling to find work at home, toothy Playboy model and actress Denise Richards has decided to inflict her 'talent' on Bollywood instead.

She stars in Kambakht Ishq with Kareena Kapoor and Akshay Kumar, and The Times reports that she is now a Bollywood convert.

“Bollywood is so unexpectedly awesome! It would have been my loss if I had lost this role. I am now looking forward to coming to Mumbai for the premiere.”

With any luck she'll convert completely and trouble the Western film industry no more. Here's hoping...

Rani to Yash Raj - You're Not The Boss Of Me [Bollywood Banners]

2008-09-03T23:47:00.000-07:00

Husky voiced heroine Rani Mukerji is upset about being regarded as being contracted to Yash Raj Films, after having done a large number of films with the banner recently.

Rumours also abound that Rani acts like a hostess at Yash Raj Studios, but that allegation is strongly denied. A source says,

"This is all in people's minds. Rani is at home in every production house. Have you seen her with Karan Johar or Sanjay Bhansali? She's totally relaxed in their homes, has long chats with their moms and even goes into their kitchen at will."

So, Mukerji is not contracted to any one particular studio, but she does like to go creeping around directors' kitchens unannounced?

Rani has recently featured in three Yash Raj Films' productions - Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag and Ta Ra Rum Pum. Earlier, she has done films like Bunty Aur Babli and Hum Tum for the banner.

The source goes on,

"Today, Rani is in a space where she realises being hard-headed and business-like is what Bollywood is all about. She certainly doesn't want to be branded a Yash Raj heroine."

As a hard-headed business woman, and with a string of flops under her belt, she might want to consider getting her hit films wherever she can...

Amitabh Bachchan Takes Awful Pictures Of Eiffel Tower, Pleads For Racial Equality [Bollywood Grandad]

2008-09-02T05:42:00.002-07:00

Exquisite! Artistic! Avant Garde! Sophisticated!

Not adjectives normally associated with gruff old goat Amitabh Bachchan. But this is the sort of stuff he spouts in his latest blog entry as he takes the leisurely route home through Europe after the remaining dates on his Unforgettable Tour were cancelled due to poor sales. He's talking about Paris, by the way.

He drifts on in reverie, words spilling out of him in his usual, stream of consciousness, almost nonsensical style. The man is getting old, we can forgive him a little fuzziness.

"...fragrance that never seems to end...dripping with unimaginable culture and art and aesthetics...I walk in the streets here with an unusual bounce in my step...I first came here in the 80’s. Its 08’s now. A reversal mathematically and materially too has taken place. The 8 and 0, has become the 0 and 8. I do not know what the feeling hidden inside is..."

Then, in a staggering tour de force of awesome blogging skills, he discusses and disects, in florid, curlicued language:

Racial equality in France

The origin of human kind from Africa

The cognizant offense of racial intolerance at the Chelsea game

Territorial rights, ethnic rights, rights of communities and their creeds and casts and religions and their beliefs

The one constant activity prevalent in the world - how to destroy a fellow human. Psychologically, physically, metaphorically.

His appearance of on the cover of the inaugural issue of fashion magazine L’Official

Designer settings and ambiance, exotic couture garments

How people of still camera renown 'shall shoot him from various angles at various locations'

Natural calamities, the suffering of our brothers and sisters in Bihar

How the system gives names to these terrible natural devastation occurrences.

All that, plus 'some awefull pictures with my mobile' of the Eiffel Tower to look forward to...

What are you waiting for?!

Vidya Balan Can Look Sexy Too, Insists The Designer She Fired [Bollywood Scruffbag]

2008-09-02T05:42:00.001-07:00

'Anyone can be made to look sexy!', says fashion designer Aki Narula.

"It's all about the attitude and the way you carry yourself! So, yes, Vidya Balan can look sexy, too!" Sounds to us like he's desperately trying to disprove the old adage 'you can't make a silk pure out of a sow's ear'. Or, more pertinently, you can't make a super sexy babe out of an old frump.

Narula was fired by Vidya Balan while working on her film Kismet Konnection. Balan didn't think he was doing a good job of her clothes, and fashion designer Shabina Khan replaced him.

Narula went on to work on clothes for the cast of Bachna Ae Haseeno – Bipasha Basu, Minnisha Lamba and Ranbir Kapoor - and he has also dressed Priyanka Chopra in Don, and was the inspiration behind the Bunty Aur Babli kurtis that became a fashion rage. All of these people looked very, very good in their respective films.

Asked if he would ever work with Balan again Narula said, "Why not? If the script is great and characters interesting, I'd do it! Sometimes it clicks, sometimes it doesn't. We're mature individuals. I'll be where there's good work!"

Sounds like he's up for a challenge!

Deepika Put Sticky Tape On Her Eyes To 'Look Like A Chinese' [Bollywood Takeaway]

2008-09-02T05:41:00.002-07:00

Exceedingly tall Bollywood glamour queen and ex-model Deepika Padukone had to slant her eyes to 'look like a Chinese' for her film Chandni Chowk to China, reports Bollywood Mantra.

To give a slanting look her make-up artist has insisted she stick tapes around her eyes, but Deepika's doctor disagreed.

"My doctors said if I stick those tapes on my eyes for 12 hours a day, the shape of my eyes would change forever. So, instead, we got my make-up artiste Mallika Bhatt to do my eye make-up in such a way that my eyes looked slanting," Deepika said.

"I don’t know how or why Nikhil Advani thought of a South Indian like me with big eyes to play a Chinese. I play half-Chinese and half-Indian in the film." she added.

Similar to her part in Om Shanti Om, Padukone will be seen in a double role in Chandi Chowk to China starring Akshay Kumar. On one half, she will play a Chinese lady and the other half as Indian lady.

Priyanka Hijacks Train To Get To Work [Bollywood Commute]

2008-09-02T05:41:00.001-07:00

Tiny, glamorous ex Miss World Priyanka Chopra commandeered an entire Mumbai local train to take her to an awards ceremony in Mumbai last week.

Bollywood star hubris? No, Chopra was shooting for Vishal Bharadwaj’s film Kaminay on a local train in Mumbai. After the day’s shooting finished in Goregaon by 6.15pm, Priyanka was late - she had to reach Churchgate for an award ceremony by 8pm.

The roads were busy, but the film’s producers had an idea - since they had permission to shoot on the train throughout Saturday, they made the locomotive ply all the way to Churchgate so that Priyanka could reach her destination on time. So, the Mumbai local, usually painfully crammed with people, chugged its way to Churchgate with none else than Priyanka on board, and dropped the actress at her destination with a half hour to spare.

Priyanka Dumps Harman Following Love Story 2050 Flop [Bollywood Nosedives]

2008-09-02T05:39:00.001-07:00

Tiny former Miss World Priyanka Chopra is 'single, but not ready to mingle' according to a recent interview.

Appearing to dump Love Story 2050 co-star Harman Baweja and distance herself from the relationship, Priyanka admitted that she is single, has never said she had a boyfriend, and wants to concentrate on her career.

While the relationship always seemed to be one of convenience, and which might benefit both parties had their film together been a success, the stench of failure is hard to rub off and Chopra is now keen to extract herself from any personal and business relationship with Baweja and his family.

Insiders have said that Harman’s parents Harry and Pammi were never happy with Priyanka as their son's choice of partner. But can we believe that a film director wouldn't e happy for his newcomer son to have a talented, successful former Miss World on his arm? Really?

Priyanka and Harman will fulfill their contractual obligations despite the ‘split’, and will be working together in Ashutosh Gowariker’s ‘What’s your Rashee’.

Big B Cancels Unforgettable Tour To Watch Chelsea Match? [Bollywood Soccer]

2008-09-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

Rapidly stiffening old man Amitabh Bachchan has decided to make the most of The Unforgettable Tour having its last two dates cancelled, by staying in London and going to see Chelsea.

No, the godlike figure of Bollywood wasn't scouting for property investment opportunities, but watching a football match. Unfortunately his godlike powers didn't extend to guaranteeing a win for the west London team against Spurs, settling instead for a draw.

Interestingly, the ageing Bollywood grandad said he had to be formally dressed because of 'circumstances'. Makes you wonder what he would have worn otherwise - Chelsea pensioner uniform, inflatable banana and a rattle?

Shilpa Has Karmic Connection With Racist Jade Goody [Race Row]

2008-08-31T03:45:00.000-07:00

Shilpa Shetty says she has a karmic connection with her racist tormentor Jade Goody.

In an interview with Outlook magazine in India she says "Jade Goody 'made me' in the UK".

The extraordinarily athletic Bollywood actress, most famous for her aggressively sexual item numbers in Indian masala films, goes on to say that Big Brother gave her international recognition, which her earlier work hadn't done, and also 'a kind of respectability'.

Referring to the outright racism and bullying that made her Big Brother appearance so distressing, and which led to thousands of complaints from viewers, she says the 'cultural sensibilities' were what made the show so difficult.

Kareena And Another Khan Get Together At Last [Khan Complain]

2008-08-31T03:01:00.000-07:00

Kareena Kapoor is heading to Ladakh with Aamir Khan for the film 3 Idiots.

The film is the first to have these two working together. It is based on Chetan Bhagat's novel "Five Point Someone" about three IIT students and the problems they face while studying in the institute. The film is being produced by Vidhu Vinod Chopra.

So, is Kapoor likely to run off with Aamir? Considering her recent decision not to let Saif Ali Khan tattoo her image onto his arm, maybe she plans more tan filming once they get up into the hills...

The film stars Aamir Khan, R Madhavan, Sharman Joshi, Boman Irani and Kareena Kapoor. The shooting commenced on Tuesday in Mumbai and the makers is hope to complete by December.

Unforgettable Tour Cancelled After Preity Zinta Quits [Bollywood Extravaganza]

2008-08-31T02:36:00.001-07:00

The Unforgettable Tour has proved too forgettable for Rotterdam and Oberhausen in Holland and Germany respectively.

The dates scheduled for those places have been canceled.

The official take is that local promoters have breached their contract and canceled the shows. However, probably the main reason for calling off the tour is mediocre ticket sales. The tickets are very expensive, leading some to dub te show The Unaffordable Tour. Thirdly, Shah Rukh Khan is planning a Temptations tour in Europe including Germany, and Bollywood fans are surely in no mood, given the credit crunch, to buy expensive tickets for the Unforgettable Tour on top of this. A fourth, more whimsical reason may be that Preity Zinta has publicly stated that London was her last show in the tour - maybe all those Dutch and Germans were mad crazy Zinta fans?

Amitabh Bachchan has been quoted as saying,

“The promoters of the show have defaulted on the contract… I’m not authorised to give a comment on this. And ticket price is not an issue. All our other nine shows in Canada, Trinidad and in entire USA and London were sold out."

Funny, two whole rows in front of this reporter at the O2 were completely empty, and I could see lots of empty seats all around the edge of the arena.

Concert promoter and Wizcraft director Wiz Sabbas Joseph had this to say,

"This decision comes after every possible attempt was made by us to try and find a solution. The local promoters defaulted, making it impossible to progress forward. We are truly saddened for those fans who purchased tickets in Rotterdam and Oberhausen in anticipation of experiencing this extravaganza. We are certain that we will be touring the European region and we will come back to embrace more cities soon."

Shilpa Shetty Has Had Enough Reality [Race Row]

2008-08-31T02:07:00.000-07:00

Elastic limbed Bollywood beauty Shilpa Shetty has told People magazine in India that she will never participate in another reality TV show.

Shetty, who shot to fame in the UK following her race row tarnished appearance on Big Brother, is currently busy presenting the Indian version of the show, Bigg Boss, where she hs been reunited with her former tormentor, the racist Jade Goody. But she has turned her back on the shows that made her famous, saying,

"No way. I can't go through it all over again. I really don't have the patience. You're forced to stay with people you might not get along with. You cannot run away and no matter how difficult they are you have to deal with them. There's always a fear about what the camera catches and how you are projected in the outer world."

Bips Is A Sex Bomb And The Clock Is Ticking [Bollywood Boom!]

2008-08-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

There's a new review of Bachna Ae Haseeno over at Blogging Bollywood. Basically, Bipasha Basu is a sex bomb, and God help us if she ever goes off because she'll blow us all to pieces.

The Unforgettable Tour In London : Review [Bollywood Extravaganza]

2008-08-25T02:13:00.000-07:00

There are times during the Unforgettable Tour where you will find yourself with your jaw slack and your mouth hanging open.

These occasions will usually be induced by your astonishment at the hubris and sheer humourless self-aggrandisement of Amitabh Bachchan. He is introduced by an apocalyptic video montage that notes, among other things, that he is worshiped like a god; that the words he speaks pass into legend; that 'millions aped his haircut'; and that 'even the way he stands' has an impact. This is the Big B, the domineering and, for the past 4 decades, dominating don of Bollywood.

But this show isn't just about him. No, it's also about his wife, Jaya Bachchan, his son Abhishek Bachchan, his son's wife Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, and a supporting cast that includes popular actors Preity Zinta, Riteish Deshmukh and unfortunate race row victim Shilpa Shetty, as well as the musical duo Vishal & Shekha. But, mostly, it's about Amitabh Bachchan, his myth, his legend and his powerful magnetic hold over the Indian people and the Indian diaspora.

The show is at the O2, inside the Millennium Dome, stranded in the gravel pit hinterland of the Isle of Dogs. Here the extravagance of the biggest Bollywood show of recent times sits like a gem, far removed from the dullness that surrounds it. Much like it does in India, where the Bollywood industry is a polished, unattainable paradise for the hundreds of millions who throng to cinemas year round to see the stars. At Amitabh Bachchan's request the crowd have arrived dressed up - as far as the eye can see it's cheap suits and shoes on the boys and gloriously colourful saris and high heels on the girls. The show is being filmed for TV, but it's not clear whether that means English TV or Indian TV.

After dispensing with a rather underwhelming warmup act the show proper starts with the relative newcomer Riteish Deshmukh. Not having an encyclopaedic Bollywood knowledge I'm afraid I won't be able to identify every song tonight, but suffice to say that Deshmukh runs around enthusiastically and athletically, before breathlessly thanking his mum and various 'aunties'. He introduces the next act, 'a girl who encapsulates freshness and fun onscreen', Preity Zinta. She runs through Pretty Woman, the legitimately Roy Orbison sampling hit from Kal Ho Naa Ho, and Where's The Party Tonight. Each act is introduced with a video montage, and Zinta gets the cringeworthy build up "She's Preity fun. She's Preity pretty. She's Preity Zinta!"

Abhishek Bachchan appears at the back of the O2 arena, dressed like Elvis in a spangly jacket, sending girls crowding around him and screaming, although they've got no chance against his dozen security guards. Exuding excitable energy and a considerable amount of cool, he works his way the the stage where he mounts a platform and proceeds to hover over the crowd.

At this point you can be forgiven for realising the essential absurdity of the spectacle you are watching. Here is a grown man, suspended in a basket over the screaming adulation of his fans, miming to a song from one of his films, in which he also mimes to the same song. At no point in the cycle of fame does he sing this song. Indeed, were it not for the between song banter almost the entire cast could get through this evening without uttering a single word. But, like a hilarious joke that stops being funny the more you analyse it and dismantle its logic, Bollywood is a spectacle that encapsulates song, dance, and beautiful people in movies. It is a black box of entertainment that just works, you don't need to know how. Start to pick at it and the joins appear, sure, but left alone it is a piece of seamless machinery.

Bachchan Jr. introduces, with admitted bias, "the most beautiful woman in the world," Aishwaraya Rai Bachchan, the rather unwieldy moniker following her wedding to Bachchan which retains both her own amazing star power and the heavyweight branding of the Bachchan clan. Her intro video claims she is "the most widely recognised face of Bollywood", although I wander what Shah Rukh Khan has to say about that. She runs through a verison of Crazy Kiya Re from Dhoom 2 which sadly lacks the athleticism or the brooding sexuality of the film version.

Vishal & Shekha provide the musical high point of the show, bringing a live band onstage and being generally lively and inventive. They are tight and funky, and the band and backing singers give the music a freshness that is perhaps missing from the rest of the show. The run through Ajab Si from Om Shanti Om, followed by the title track of that film, a huge hit which also sees Preity Zinta apparently spontaneously run onstage to boogie to.

Jaya Bachchan, Bollywood star and now member of Indian parliament, introduces environmentally aware appeals to "cool the planet" and charitable drives to "light a billion lives" through donating solar lamps to unelectrified villages in India.

Then, the moment the crowd have been waiting for. His ominous, cataclysmic video montage introduction gives him the kind of build up no living Hollywood actor could ever hope to live up to. Any other crowd would be expecting the Second Coming by now. And in a way this crowd are. Amitabh Bachchan nearly died after an accident on the set of Coolie, the film he was making. The public outpouring of grief following his injury may well have convinced Bachchan of his Messianic potential. He cuts a pompous, snobby character, often overdressed in dress shirt, velvet jacket and cravat. When not formally attired he resembles and embarrassing grandad, dressed in hoodie, shades and sneakers. But the crowd here tonight absolutely adore him. At 66 he is no longer as flexible as he one might have been, and his dance moves tend to centre on finger clicking and shoulder shrugs. But the crowd love every minute of it. He also appears to be singing live, which is impressive. He does a couple of numbers, then we get a tribute where various cast members do one of his gloriously funky 70's songs, the popping mic, wahwah guitar and tapping cymbals the sound of the last time Bollywood could realistically challenge Hollywood at being properly, funkily cool.

After Amitabh Bachchan's set the evening loses some momentum. The boys come on and run around endlessly, attempting some hip hop but really just doing a lot of shouting to "make some noise, stand up". Shilpa Shetty, a special guest in London because of her popularity here following Big Brother, comes on to show off her incredible flexible dance moves. Sparkling, bright and showy, she is a big hit.

Eventually Amitabh Bachchan returns to recite some famous lines from his films. Complete silence descends on the audience. Big B gives a little context to the piece then, in character and with enormous amounts of reverb, intones the part. This, I think, is like Alec Guinness coming on and doing a bit out of Star Wars, or Ben Kingsley faithfully reciting one of the choice monologues from Sexy Beast. It's both weird and surprisingly effective. Lastly he does a speech from Deewar, where he angrily addresses God regarding his dead mother. Bachchan's own mother dies last year, and his eyes well up with tears. It is a moment of high drama, and you must remind yourself that this man is an actor by trade.

Thereafter the concert descends into cacophony, like an unruly school disco that threatens not to end. Indeed, like an overlong Bollywood movie it just starts to outstay its welcome. The entire cast and crew come onstage, the dance endlessly and congratulate each other and the crowd ceaselessly. The extravagance, the excitement, the flabbiness, the cheap staging, love it or hate it, are pure Bollywood.

The final show is in Rotterdam in The Netherlands on August 29 2008.

Abhishek Shocked That Shilpa Shetty Is The UK Face Of Bollywood [Race Row]

2008-08-23T01:43:00.000-07:00

Abhishek Bachchan is shocked and stunned that Shilpa Shetty represents Bollywood for the majority of non-Indians in the UK.

Although obviously included in the UK leg of The Unforgettable Tour to capitalise on her popularity in the UK following her race row tarnished appearance on Big Brother, Abhishek Bachchan feigned surprise at a news conference that for most of the broader British public she is the face of Bollywood.

“Really?” he said. “That’s very good. We’re happy for her. She’s a member of the fraternity and we’re happy for her.” He was unconvincing, however.

At home in India Shetty has a somewhat more low rent, highly sexualized and racy image as an item girl - someone who makes special appearances in films as a dancer in a musical number, usually dressed in skimpy clothes.

Bollywood Hits London [Unforgettable And Unaffordable]

2008-08-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

Bollywood has touched down in London ahead of the Unforgettable Tour concert on Sunday at the O2.

Bollywood stars including Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai and Preity Zinta have arrived in London amid regrettable news that the series of extravagant concerts have failed to woo Westerners to te Bollywood cause. timesonline.co.uk reports that audiences for the shows have been made up of around 85-90% from the Indian diaspora, with the remaining made up of hardcore Bollywood fans from the West. Some have blamed the high ticket prices for only attracting dedicated fans, and others have dubbed it The Unaffordable Tour.

The tour's producer Viraf Sarkari was stating confidently that the O2 would sell out, althought there are still tickets available for Sunday's show. A spokesperson for the O2 Arena refused to reveal how many seats remained unsold but said the target was to reach 15,000 - 2,000 short of the venue’s 17,000 capacity.

Riya Sen Will Appear Without Sexy Clothes Or Makeup [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

Riya Sen will appear without her trademark sexy clothes in her first ever Bengali film, Abohoman.

Instead, the girl most famous for interacting socially with 10,000 men, including lusty old goat Salman Rushdie, will be dressed demurely. The director Rituparno Ghosh says she plays a young daughter-in-law who is realistic, temperamental and fearless enough to stand up for her rights!

“Riya hasn’t worn any make-up - not even a hint of kohl,”

Everyone's looking forward to seeing sexy Riya's new 'body of work.'

Shilpa Shetty Burned Alive, Is Quite Upset [Race Row]

2008-08-23T00:48:00.000-07:00

Sexy, flexible Bollywood babe Shilpa Shetty has been burned alive in Thane - in the form of an effigy.

The Times of India calmly describes Shetty as "kind of hugely upset." Apparently upset at Jade Goody’s sudden departure from Bigg Boss with cancer, as well as politician Ramdas Athavale being kept out of the show allegedly because he is a Dalit, members of the public burned an effigy of her in Thane.

Understandably, Shetty "is expecting an apology."

Shetty also took time to scotch the the rumour that she’s lobbying to get her allegedly foofoo flashing sister Shamita Shetty into the Big Brother show in London.

“Not true,” Shilpa said, “Shamita is only holidaying in London. And she would never do any reality show. She’s different from me, she’s an introvert, there no question of her being able to stay in a house for 13 long weeks.”

Shilpa Shetty Is A Liar, A Damn Sexy Liar [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-08-21T01:34:00.000-07:00

Leggy, bendy Bollywood item girl Shilpa Shetty has been lying about her name all these years.

Turns out she's not Shilpa at all, but Ashwini. Astrologically speaking her pretend name is supposed to be luckier than her real name. But it makes you wonder what else she's been lying about. Her boyfriend? Her wedding date? Her opinions on other Bollywood stars? Expressing her shock and dismay when her tormentor, racist lout Jade Goody, withdrew from the reality show Bigg Boss after being diagnosed with cancer?

Tiny Bikini Leaves Priyanka Chopra Feeling Naked In Miami [Bollywood Bikinis]

2008-08-20T23:43:00.000-07:00

Luscious, pouting former Miss World Priyanka Chopra say that the size of her itsy bitsy bikini for the filming of Dostana in Miami left her feeling naked. So much so that the designer had to buy another one and stitch the two together to prevent her modesty from being outraged.

She says,

"Since ‘Dostana’ is shot in Miami, my wardrobe has a beach vibe. I wore a lot of shorts, tank tops and tees. And even then, I felt overdressed. There, women go to the supermarket wearing bikinis. We picked up the swimsuit in a store in Miami. It was really small and itsy-bitsy. So we picked up two and Prasad, designer Manish Malhotra 's tailor, sewed them together to make a one-piece, right there on the location.

The choice of the swimsuit's gold colour - reminiscent of Ursula Andress's in ‘Dr No’ and Bo Derek's in ‘10’ - was a coincidence, she said. "We settled for gold because my skin is dusky and a perfect foil for the colour."

The swimsuit also required Priyanka to work on her figure. The former Miss World did not lose any weight for the movie, but admits that she worked out to ensure a toned figure.

"I really worked out for Fashion and ‘Dostana’ because I wanted a toned look. So, even though I had no competition from another girl in ‘Dostana’, I hit the gym with the boys."

Bips Sex Appeal Meets Yuvraj Six Appeal [Bollywood Marketing]

2008-08-19T23:53:00.000-07:00

Gravel voiced sex bomb Bipasha Basu sizzles in skimpy shorts next to Yuvraj Singh as she extends her domination of the Bollywood marketing machine.

This time Bips is flogging Reebok, and appears in an extensive photoshoot with Yuvraj Singh. One might almost forget that she's actually an actress by trade but for the great reviews Bachna Ae Haseeno has been getting. Her list of brand ambassadorships and other sales representations is now as long as her own slender arms. Please concentrate on making more movies, girl!

Basu says, "Working with Yuvi is great fun and he is a complete bundle of energy. You can call Reebok a confluence of sorts and style. I associate with it, as it is the kind of clothing I wear, being a fitness conscious person myself. I am sporty person and these clothes are a part of my life. The stylish clothes and patterns are simply amazing"

Wonder if Preity Zinta thinks Yuvi is a "complete bundle of energy" too...

Jade Goody Has Cancer And Withdraws From Big Boss [Bollywood ]

2008-08-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Racist UK lout Jade Goody has withdrawn suddenly from Bigg Boss when it was revealed to her by her doctor that she has cervical cancer.

Goody confronted the victim of her race hate, Shilpa Shetty, who is presenting the Indian version of Big Brother, Bigg Boss. The two smiled for the cameras, but less than a day later Goody had left the house after a phone call in the diary room revealed that she was suffering from cervical cancer.

Shilpa Shetty Hugs Racist Rival Jade Goody in Bigg Boss [Race Row]

2008-08-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

Sexy, bendy Shilpa Shetty has hugged Jade Goody as she entered the Bigg Boss house.

Her former rival in the UK Big Brother house, who taunted her with racist comments, including referring to her as "Shilpa Poppadom, is taking part in the Indian version of the TV show, for a reported 11.5 lakhs (£100,000). Shilpa Shetty is presenting the show on Indian TV channel Colors.

Newcomer Deepika Padukone Gives Zinta The Elbow [Bollywood Brands]

2008-08-18T23:49:00.000-07:00

Former model, ice queen and Maxim's "Sexiest Lady On Earth (or at least India)" Deepika Padukone has ousted dimple cheeked actress Preity Zinta in a power struggle for the brand ambassadorship of BSNL, the national telecommunications giant.

The new girl has signed a contract to represent the exciting telecommunications company for 1 year. he Hindustan Times reports the story, and for some reason gives a list ofthose Bollywood actors who weren't considered,

"...Shah Rukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Vidya Balan, Kareena Kapoor and R Madhavan."

Shilpa Gets Payback From Big Brother [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-08-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

Shilpa Shetty has become the highest paid actress in Indian television history after signing a massive 10 crore (bout £1.2 million) deal to front Bigg Boss, the Indian vesion of Big Brother.

Shetty faced racial abuse from bigoted Britons when she appeared as a "housemate" in the UK version of Big Brother. She became an ambassador for dignity in the face of adversity, as well as for her country, and Britain took her to their hearts as "our Shilpa" when she finally won the show.

Saif Ali Khan Cancels Party, Spends Birthday Alone [Bollywood Birthday]

2008-08-16T02:50:00.000-07:00

Arrogant Bollywood hunk Saif Ali Khan had to cancel his party and spend his birthday alone in Mumbai as none of his actor friends were around.

In an interview with IANS Khan tells of his love for arrogant, scrawny actress Kareena Kapoor, going to the gym, and how London has become Bollywod's second home. He goes on to strike fear into the heart of actors and directors everywhere when he talks of his role as producers and says,

"I'm actually a creative producer."

Bipasha Basu Feels Like Amitabh Bachchan {Ageing Babes]

2008-08-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

In yet another interview to promote new film Bachna Ae Haseeno, gravel voiced sex bomb Bipasha Basu says she feels like Amitabh Bachchan thanks to everyone calling her the most senior actor on the film.

The film was shot on location around the world, and the 30-something actress says, "I got a lot of compliments in Italy for the clothes I was wearing. Italian men only know how to romance. They are impeccably dressed with styled hair and they only want to marry you."

Good luck boys!

My Secret Fantasy Is To Wear Skimpy Clothes, Says Rahul Bose [Bollywood Boys]

2008-08-16T02:14:00.000-07:00

Rahul Bose claims his secret fantasy is to wear skimpy clothes, get rolled in the mud and get mercilessly beaten up by a bunch of big, burly guys.

In a hilarious interview with The Hindustan Times, Bose goes on to say that his choreographers committed suicide after trying to teach him dance steps, compares Star Wars to a shoddy Bollywood blockbuster, and claims Sylvester Stallone is the world's funniest actor. Bose shows a self wareness and sense of humour all too often lacking amongst the Bollywood drones.

He also says he'd take Madhubala over Mallika Sherawat, as "the mind always covets what could have been."

Singh Is Kinng Dominates Box Office, Despite Being Rubbish

2008-08-16T01:51:00.000-07:00

Alleged comedy Singh Is Kinng lorded it at the box office this week, taking 40 crores (about £4.5 million) in its first week of release.

The film, a weak mix of half baked ideas, lacklustre comedy and pointless location shooting in Egypt and Australia, nevertheless had built up enough anticipation through its monster marketing to ensure huge receipts in it first week.

The film stars current super hit duo Akshay Kumar and horsey Amazonian Katrina Kaif, although the latter's clumsy dancing leaves you wondering where the attraction lies, as her acting is nothing spectacular either.

Is Salman Khan Gay? [Bollywood Homo]

2008-08-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

Salman Khan recently revealed he feels awkward acting in scenes with horsey hottie, towering Amazonian Katrina Kaif, and the world wonders if it's because he's a gay.

Filming his latest film Yuvraj he has been paired as a romantic with his current beard, the lanky and awkward Katrina Kaif who is inexplicably the hottest Bollywood property on the planet right now. Who did she sleep with to get to the top? Probably not Khan, given that he is a convicted criminal, an insanely violent man and in all likelihood firmly in the closet.

Speaking about a project he has lined up, called Veer, Khan says he has written the script for the film, and describes it, hilariously, as "a period film about men and honour. It also has comedy".

Khan has had a series of high profile relationships with beautiful women, including Kaif and snooty Bollywood princess Aishwarya Rai. He admits that "sometimes people think he has gone mad."

Bips Called A Bitch By Bollywood Gossip Site [Bollywood Misogyny]

2008-08-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

Gravel voiced sex bomb Bipasha Basu has been called a bitch by a Bollywood gossip website.

In a distressing addition to the current fashion for outright misogyny in the Bollywood gossip industry, Bips was insulted recently by Sawfnews after she commented on the blatant ageism of the Indian film industry.

The Bollywood rumour mill, staffed almost entirely by lascivious, lusting boys and not normally known for it's insight or intelligence, has once again proved how pathetic it can be in reaching for page impressions.

Go Bips, we say, you can rock our worlds until you're 150!

Deepika Padukone Called A Hooker By Indian Web Portal [Bollywood Hypocrisy]

2008-08-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

Deepika Padukone has to suffer being called a hooker by downscale websites such as OneIndia.

The model turned actress, who was recently named Maxim India magazine's "hottest girl on Earth", was called a hooker by the sexually frustrated bigots at OneIndia in response to her beautiful photoshoot on the cover of the mgazine. Wearing a sexy black dress a looking every inch the movie star in control, she nonetheless has to suffer the dribbling, drooling "journalism" of a bunch of under-educated, oversexed Mummy's boys. OneIndia are happy, of course, to run a large photo of Deepika right next to their story.

Kareena Thinks Stallone Is "A Sexy Man", Will Obviously Say Anything To Get Ahead [Bollywood Hollywood]

2008-08-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

Kareena Kapoor has called Sylvester Stallone "a very interesting and sexy man."

And although her spokesperson has been making noises recently about heavy interest from Hollywood, nothing has yet materialised. To what lengths is Kapoor prepared to go to bag a part in a Hollywood feature? Swooning over a lumpy old has-been like the communicatively challenged Sly?

In related news she dissuaded current beau Saif Ali Khan from tattooing her image on her arm. Perhaps she isn't planning on sticking around for too much longer? Especially considering her burgeoning relationship with Stallone, who she says has "a great body."

No one ever called me sexy, simpers sexy Deepika Padukone [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-13T01:50:00.000-07:00

"No one ever called me sexy," simpers sexy Bollywood star Deepika Padukone.

The model-turned-actress Deepika Padukone who Filmfare disparagingly called "an ice queen", recently topped the Maxim Hot 100 girls list, and whimpers to the Hindustan Times,

"I really didn't expect it. I'm really excited. People always used to call me either cute or pretty, but no one ever called me sexy. I take it as a compliment."

The actress, who made her movie debut with Om Shanti Om, goes on to talk about money, stardom, her parents, next release Bachna Ae Haseeno, and blandly confirms that she and boyfriend Ranbir Kapoor are "focussing on their career".

"Being sexy is about being mysterious and having your own personality and certainly has nothing to do with a person's fashion sense,"

she added, mysteriously.

Only good girls have long hair, says bad girl Bips [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

In a histrionic piece covering a variety of Bips related news, the Hindustan Times gets hot under the collar about her new film, her new haircut and John Abraham's secret desire to turn her into a man.

Some choice quotes:

"The more women love John, the better I feel."

Her character in upcoming move Bachna Ae Haseeno is

"Forthright and modern, her value system is very much in place. She wants to be successful, but at the same time she wants marriage and a family life."

"I am a hair person. I love playing with them. Currently, I am not shooting till October. I had the liberty to look the way I wanted. So I got them cut."

"Indian men only like long hair. Except my man. He loved my long hair, but he is equally excited about my new cut. The other day, he called and said, 'I’ve just seen Rihanna in a very cool boy cut. Get that done. It will look very cool on you.' I told him that it’s very macho. I asked if he has any secret desire to turn me into a man"

"I get excited about anything. It could be travel, my work, a script, a new role, looks, doing my new house or going into a new apartment. I hate negativity and try to keep it off me."

"First there was a story that Bipasha didn’t let John sign a film with Vidya. Today, I read a story that the two have signed a film, and is Bipasha laughing? Of course, Bipasha is laughing, because the first story was not true."

"I feel proud. The more women love him, the better I feel. It’s such a great feeling knowing that my man is so hot and sexy. He is pure and honest… a sweetie."

Etc etc...

Karan Johar: "Dump Stars, Make Script Better" [Bollywood Memo]

2008-08-10T23:41:00.000-07:00

Karan Johar, camp director of Kabhi Kushi Kabie Gham, has astonished Bollywood with his latest blog entry, which declares the star system dead and advises a return to the studio system of old.

Johar bitterly recounts the months and years spent waiting for an all powerful star to release block of dates and commit to a film, and advocates a return to the old system where an actor was contracted to a studio and was therefore under their control. Clamouring for greater control over his projects, Johar says,

"...make the script the star, the visual effects the draw, and the director the force. Talent needs to be discovered and molded, contracted and disciplined till the project...has lived out its entire duration."

Johar is currently waiting for Bollywood star Kajol to sign for his film My Name Is Khan, which she has repeatedly delayed, citing the lack of script.

In Bed With Balan [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-10T02:04:00.000-07:00

Vidya Balan sizzles in a photoshoot for the August issue of FHM India.

Despite often being knocked for being unfashionable or messy, especially by bitchy BBC queens Raj and Pablo, in the photos Balan looks as gorgeous as she did when she smoldered on screen in Parineeta.

Regarding the photoshoot Balan said

"I think what we shot for the cover was really very interesting especially where we used sheets and all and it's just that there is a great sensuality to it. I always think that minimal make-up and no fuss hair takes away from everything and it's all about the eyes."

Continuing her saucy bedroom talk, when asked what would it be like to have breakfast in bed, Vidya says,

"If a guy had to make me breakfast in bed, I'd eat whatever he makes well."

Fat Slob Sanjay Dutt Somehow Tricked 200 Women Into Bed [Bollywood Liar]

2008-08-10T01:31:00.000-07:00

Overweight, out of shape convicted illegal firearms possessor Sanjay Dutt claims he has slept with more than 200 women.

In an interview on chat show Sajid’s Superstars on new Indian TV channel Colors, Dutt made the suprise claim,

"I don’t remember the number of women I have been with… it might be over 200."

Yes, Sanjay, and it might also be 3. After all you are a fat, out of shape, grizzly old bear of a man. Who is currently out on bail after being convicted of illegally possessing firearms.

Dutt doesn't mention how many men he has slept with, but seeing as he also described being in jail as "the best night of his life", chances are there might be one or two.

"When you know nothing can be done about a situation, you stop thinking about it,"

commented Dutt. Quite.

Bips Wears Another New Haircut On Catwalk For Jewellery Show

2008-08-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

Bips wore red bangs to accompany her diamond necklace and black dress on the catwalk for a show for Gitanjali, an Indian jewellery brand.

English speakers outside of America might understand better if we refer to Bipasha's hairstyle as "a fringe". The show is part of her brand ambassadorship for the jewellery giant.

Bips surely now has more hairstyles and brand ambassador deas than she does films.

Manoj Kumar Can't Take A Joke, Court Orders Om Shanti Om Cut

2008-08-09T01:08:00.000-07:00

A sessions court has ordered Om Shanti Om to cut a scene parodying 70's actor Manoj Kumar.

The controversy has been going on since the film's release in 2007, but the film's broadcast on Sony Entertainment Television on August 10th forced a court decision to be made. The scene involves the character "Manoj Kumar" arriving at a cinema premier but not able to get in, and ends with Kumar being chased away by the police.

Manoj Kumar, showing a spectacular lack of humour, and referring himself in the third person, said,

"Indian audiences made Manoj Kumar into an icon...that icon has been wounded, made fun of."

He has blasted Om Shanti Om's producers, saying,

"People who make such movies do not know the meaning of respect and decency. They are criminals."

Kumar, obviously devastated at his declining star status, complained,

"Are the Mumbai police so stupid that they can't recognise Manoj Kumar?"

Big B Praises Olympic Opening Ceremony, Slams Atlantic City

2008-08-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

Aging Bollywood fop Amitabh Bachchan has praised the Olympic opening ceremony's "coordination, concept and discipline".

Bachchan, who is currently hosting his own stadium based spectacular, The Unaffordable Tour, denigrates the whole of Atlantic City as a Las Vegas wannabe, despite himself putting on a Las Vegas style show there, before rubbing salt into the wound by stating he had "feasted on the visual treat" of the Chinese performance.

Writing in his blog Bachchan, being the irritable old codger that he is, then went on to complain about his Atlantic City hotel's parsimonious internet service.

Doesn't sound like he's enjoying himself in New Jersey. Two tickets to Beijing, please?

Kareena Kapoor Has NOT Signed A Hollywood Movie [Non Event]

2008-08-08T00:24:00.001-07:00

Kareena Kapoor is NOT making a Hollywood movie, her spokesperson has confirmed.

It what must rank as a fairly pointless announcement, Kapoor's spokesperson reveals that although the startlingly thin actress has been offered a part, she has not signed a contract.

Shilpa Returns To Host Big Brother In It's Indian Avatar, Bigg Boss [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-08-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Curvaceous and bendy Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty will host the second season of the Indian version of Big Brother, Bigg Boss.

Sexy item girl Shetty will overcome the race row she became embroiled in during her participation in the UK version of the show, and will host Bigg Boss which will be aired on new Indian TV channel Colors on 17th August.

Bips Signs Another Brand Ambassador Deal, Surely Gains Diplomatic Immunity This Time [Bollywood Brands]

2008-08-07T01:44:00.000-07:00

Bipasha Basu is surely in danger of promoting more brands than films, these days.

Hot on the heels of her Gili brand ambassadorship, the dusky Bollywood sizzler has also been signed up as a representative for Sugar Free Gold, which we assume is some sort of sweetener.

Bips, who is patently sweet enough already, has one film coming out soon, Bachna Ae Haseeno, but then has said she plans to take a long break as she has the painters in. That's right, she's doing up her house in Mumbai and wants ' to travel to remote corners of the world to get the right colour and quality of wood'.

Riya Sen Socially Interacts With 10,000 Men In World's Biggest Social Interaction Gangbang [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-07T01:38:00.000-07:00

Riya Sen socially interacts with 10,000 men, and most of them flirt with her, she says.

Sen, an unremarkable actress by any standards, and seen partially naked more often than not, has said that she but she remains single and eligible.

Times of India reporter Vickey Lalwani spoke with Sen, who is partial to posing scantily clad in calendars, at Sen's home in Juhu, Mumbai. In an otherwise dull interview, Sen claims that her relationship with Salman Rushdie, who she has recently been romantically linked with, is purely platonic. Rushie, 62, used to hang out with her parents ferchrisake.

Katrina And Bipasha Basu's Naked Ambassadorial Ambition [Bollywood Babes]

2008-08-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Katrina Kaif and Bipasha Basu have both become brand ambassadors for popular jewellery brands in what threatens to turn into one big catfight.

Towering, oddly accented Amazonian Kat and dusky, husky growler Bips will be at each other's throats yet again, and probably trying to tear the diamond necklace off it, as they square up as mascots for jewellery brands Nakshatra and Gili respectively, reports the Times of India.

In what seems sure to spill over from playgorund catfight into full on corporate war, Katrina was named as the brand ambassador of Gitanjali's Nakshatra Diamond jewellery, taking over the mantle from Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, followed swiftly by Bipasha Basu being anounced as the new brand ambassador of Gili at a grand event today.

In a startling twist, the Times sees a conspiratorial subtext, with both these sexy ladies being manipulated by corporate power in order to 'benefit from their off-screen enmity in their onscreen commercials.' Powerful stuff. Then it goes and spoils it all by conjuring up the frankly horrifying title 'ambassadresses'.

Shilpa Shetty Observes 3 Days Of Silence, Feels Divine Energy Of Spiritual Leader Flow Into Her [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-08-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

Sexy item girl Shilpa Shetty has observed 3 days of silence as part of a meditation course in Andhra Pradesh, India.

Not only that, she also felt the divine energy of her spritual leader flow into her. The middling actress, who can often been seen scantily clad on magazine covers pushing sales of her yoga DVD, is just back from a spirituality course in Andhra Pradesh where she observed a three-day vow of silence.

"I was at the Oneness meditation camp in Chittoor district. I had undertaken a 'maun vrat' till the end of this week. I did a spiritual course there and returned to Mumbai Sunday,"

Shilpa said.

"The place was so beautiful and calm. Though it's hard for me to keep quiet for more than 10 minutes, I found it easy to remain quiet when nature seems to second my tranquil emotion,"

the yoga toned actress added. Keeping quiet proved particularly hard for her when she was embroiled in a race row with her bigoted and racist fellow contestant Jade Goody during her appearance on UK TV show Big Brother. But most observers agree that Shetty emerged with dignity from the incident.

Speaking of the Onesness course she participated in she says,

"It's a fabulous mind and body healing course. When I met the spiritual leader at the Oneness University, I could feel his divine energy flow from him into me. I know it sounds like mumbo jumbo. You've to experience it to know how it feels."

The Oneness course has become very popular among celebrities in India and abroad. Big names from Hollywood like Gerard Butler, Uma Thurman and Richard Gere are some of those who have undergone the course.

Bollywood Legend Waheeda Rehman Honoured For 50 Year's Work - With A Teapot [Bollywood Booby Prize]

2008-08-05T16:06:00.000-07:00

Bollywood legend Waheeda Rehman has been honoured by Brooke Bond, the tea company, for outstanding contribution to cinema.

Appropriately, but perhaps stingily, she was given a teapot to represent 50 years of memorable work.

Rehman is the recipient of several Filmfare awards, and is the star of a long list of bona fide Bollywood classics, including CID, Pyaasa, Kaagaz Ke Phool, Guide, Ram Aur Shyam, Lamhe, Coolie and Kabhi Kabhie. In an award created wholly, it seems, to promote it's range of teas, Brooke Bond presented the Bollywood Star with the "Taj Enlighten Tareef Award" at a ceremony.

Why Doesn't Shah Rukh Khan Like Me?

2008-08-05T10:37:00.000-07:00

A Bollywood producer with no film, no script and no director lined up wonders why Shah Rukh Khan doesn't want to work with him.

Ratan Jain, who has previously made a series of films with Bollywood messaah SRK, says, incredulously,

"Okay, what's the script, who's the director? I have none - not a script befitting SRK, nor a director."

Good luck, Ratan, you're going to need it. With SRK's Red Chillies Entertainment raking in the profits from films like Om Shanti Om and Chak De! India, you've got a fight on your hands persuading him to even take an interest in your, so far non-existent, project.

UPDATE: SRK Is Gonna Carry On Smoking! [Bollywood Smokers]

2008-08-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Six-packed Bollywood messiah and cricket team owning entrepreneur Shah Rukh Khan has announced that he is continue smoking.

Confusion emerged when Khan reportedly told the leading Kerala daily Malayala Manorama that he considered quitting smoking while on a 17 hour on a flight.

"If I can do without smoking in flight, I am sure I can do without it on land too."

But the habit is too strong for him to kick, even at the expense of his children's health. The star had started smoking when he was 22 and says he will continue to do so, despite also being targeted by Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss as a bad example for youngsters.

So, now his kids can continue to enjoy those long car journeys to school wreathed in a cigarette smoke fug, and look forward to stinky clothes, chronic coughs and possible an early death from emphysema.

SRK Loves Fags, But Loves His Children More [Bollywood Smoker's Group]

2008-08-05T01:51:00.000-07:00

SRK loves fags. He loves puffing away on a cigarette. But he's going to quit, reports Reuters, for the sake of his children.

And Khan, like a true smoker in denial, has said he will kick the habit in two months. Mañana, always mañana.

“They don’t like me smoking. I see that as a blessing,”

the 42-year-old actor was quoted as saying in an interview to 'Malayala Manorama'.

Happy Birthday Kajol [Bollywood Birthday]

2008-08-04T23:53:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Kajol!

Living legend, sexy lady, graceful natural woman, comedy star, drama queen and threat to Bollywood divas everywhere. Also, the lesbian's favourite. How old is she? Who cares. May she go on forever. Thank you Kajol.

Her films:

My Name Is Khan (2009) (pre-production)
Toonpur Ka Superhero (2008) (filming)
Haal-e-Dil (2008) .... Special appearance
U, Me Aur Hum (2008) .... Piya
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (2006) (uncredited) .... Piano dancer
... aka Kank (India: Hindi title: informal short title)
... aka Never Say Goodbye (USA: informal English title)
Fanaa (2006) .... Zooni Z. Baig
Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003) (uncredited) .... Dancer at engagement party
... aka Tomorrow May Never Come (USA: informal literal English title)
... aka Tomorrow May Not Be (USA: DVD box title)
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... (2001) .... Anjali Sharma / Anjali R. Raichand
... aka Happiness & Tears (USA: DVD box title)
... aka K3G (India: Hindi title: informal short title)
... aka KKKG (India: Hindi title: informal short title)
... aka Sometimes Happiness, Sometimes Sorrow (International: English title)
... aka Sometimes Happy, Sometimes Sad (Europe: English title)
Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi (2001) .... Tina/Sweety Khanna
Raju Chacha (2000) .... Anna
Hote Hote Pyar Hogaya (1999) .... Pinky
Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain (1999) .... Megha
Dil Kya Kare (1999) .... Nandita Rai
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) .... Anjali Sharma
... aka KKHH (India: Hindi title: informal short title)
... aka Something Is Happening (UK)
Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha (1998) .... Sanjana
Dushman (1998) .... Sonia/Naina Saigal
Duplicate (1998) .... Girl on railway station
Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya (1998) .... Muskaan Thakur
Ishq (1997) .... Kajal
... aka Romance (India: English title: literal title)
Minsaara Kanavu (1997) .... Priya
... aka Merupu Kalalu (India: Telugu title: dubbed version)
... aka Minsara Kanavu (India: Tamil title: alternative transliteration)
... aka Sapnay (India: Hindi title: dubbed version)
Gupt: The Hidden Truth (1997) .... Isha Diwan
Hamesha (1997) .... Rani Sharma/Reshma
Bambai Ka Babu (1996) .... Neha
Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995) .... Simran Singh
... aka Lovers Will Walk Off with the Bride (UK: informal English title)
... aka The Big-Hearted Will Win the Bride (USA: informal English title)
... aka The Brave Heart Will Take the Bride (USA: informal literal title)
Gundaraj (1995) .... Ritu
Hulchul (1995) .... Sharmili
Taaqat (1995) .... Kavita
Karan Arjun (1995) .... Sonia Saxena
... aka Karan and Arjun (International: English title)
Yeh Dillagi (1994) .... Sapna
... aka The Game of Love (India: English title)
Udhaar Ki Zindagi (1994) .... Sita
Baazigar (1993) .... Priya M. Chopra
Bekhudi (1992) .... Radhika

Deepika, Ranbir Explain Relationship Of Convenience [Bollywood Marketing]

2008-08-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hot newcomers, bland Deepika Padukone and vacantly beaming Ranbir Kapoor feature on the cover of the latest issue of People magazine.

The interview promises to explain "how they met, who brought them together and why they are so in love". Hmmm, anything to do with a convenient marketing relationship created especially to hype up their latest release, Chandni Chowk To China and Bachna Ae Haseeno?

Bollywood Actors Three Times Greater Than Hollywood Equivalents, Claims Big B [Bollywood Hubris]

2008-08-03T02:17:00.000-07:00

Arrogant Bollywood pensioner Amitabh Bachchan claims that Indian actors are 3 tims more talented than Hollywood actors.

He says,

"...like triple threats...they can not only act but can also sing and dance, a qualification greater than most of their western counterparts!!"

While the standard of acting in Bollywood is highly debatable, as evidenced by his snooty daughter Aishwarya Rai's repeated and valiant attempts to break into the Hollywood mainstream (The Mistress Of Spices, anybody?), Bachchan has clearly forgotten that almost every song in a Bollywood movie is lipsynched by the actor and is actually sung by a playback singer.

So, Bollywood, great dancing! Keep it up!

Unfortunately some talented actors are over there in India but will never get the exposure in Western cinema that they deserve. Aamir Khan, Preity Zinta, Saif Ali Khan, Bipasha Basu and Konkona Sen Sharma are all great talents who would do well given the right dramatic or comedic vehicle. Bips, in particular, is the greatest Bond Girl that never was. Get in touch, Mr Broccoli, we'll discuss fees!

Texas Announces Bollywood Day [National Bollyday]

2008-08-03T01:23:00.000-07:00

In a statement amounting to nothing meaningful, Harris County, Texas yesterday announced that 2nd August would known as "Bollywood Day".

The county, which is home to the South's largest and first toll-free vehicular tunnel, handed over proclamations of the unofficial holiday to each of the Unaffordable Tour stars, their blog notes.

Details of what this means, or whether the proclamations handed over by representatives of County Judge Ed Emmett are entirely redundant, are not clear.

Bachchan reminisces on his reincarnation in 1982 [Bollywood Comebacks]

2008-08-03T00:52:00.000-07:00

Aging Bollywood grandad Amitabh Bachchan has used his blog to thank his fans for their prayers in 1982 which allowed him to live again following an accident on the set of Coolie.

He says,

"...the diligent and hard work of the doctors at the Hospital, brought me back to life.
This is the debt that I shall never be able to pay back and which I talk of so often. I am with you today because of those prayers. Prayers from so many I never knew, never met and probably never shall. But I know that you are there and there in my heart with the greatest of affection and love. I thank you."

Bachchan was luckily reincarnated as the same dead eyed lanky struggler with a mild talent for stiff acting and a penchant for two tone hair and beard combos.

In his post he then goes on to detail the logistics of the Unaffordable Tour in preparation for tonight's Houston show.

Bips Says She's Not Too Old [Ageing Babes]

2008-08-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

Actresses in their late 20s are not too old, says 29 year old Bollywood sizzler Bipasha Basu.

The sexy bob haired bombshell denounced the male-centric film industry, lashed out at the idiotic media and lambasted everyone who made an issue about older women romantically paired on screen with younger men.

The gorgeous hottie Bips has recently been cast opposite baby faced younger actor Ranbir Kapoor in Bachna Aae Haseeno and just out of high school Neil Nitin Mukesh in Freeze.

Aishwarya Rai Was First Choice For Hancock, Says Will Smith [Bollywood Hollywood]

2008-08-02T00:50:00.000-07:00

Will Smith has been dying to work with snooty Bollywood princess Aishwarya Rai.

He said that she was the first choice for the part of the female superhero in his film Hancock.

Screenindia.com reports that Smith also described creaking Bollywood grandad Amitabh Bachchan as "a mind-blowing actor".

Saris Are Indian, Exclaims Katrina Kaif [Bollywood Brains]

2008-08-02T00:41:00.000-07:00

In a statement that will shock the fashion world to its core, towering Amazonian Bollywood babe Katrina Kaif has said that saris make her look Indian.

The oddly accented Brit, who wore a sari for a whole song in her new film Singh Is Kinng, reports the Hindustan Times, said

"Director Anees Bazmi was very clear that he wanted me to have an Indian look for the song. And what could have made me look more Indian than a sari? I thoroughly loved it. A sari makes a woman look so graceful and feminine."

She then went on to say, enigmatically, that the locales of Egypt where they shot the film were "mysterious".

Bollywood Actors Targeted By Indian Mujahideen [Bollywood Bomb Blasts]

2008-08-02T00:06:00.000-07:00

Aamir Khan has vowed to continue working in films despite being targeted by extremist groups in India, says the Hindustan Times.

Khan, amongst other Bollywood actors including six-packed messiah figure Shah Rukh Khan, insanely violent man Salman Khan and large-nosed arrogant heartthrob Saif Ali Khan, has been threatened by the Indian Mujahideen, an extremist terrorist group who have taken responsibility for the recent bombs in Ahmedabad.

While Aamir Khan can certainly be accused of being whey faced, chubby cheeked and having sported some astonishingly badly haircuts, this targeting of him and others is outrageous and deplorable.

Regularly Naked Riya Sen Goes On Popcorn Diet [Bollywood Babes]

2008-07-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Skinny and averagely talented actress Riya Sen, so often seen spectacularly under dressed, is on a self-prescribed butter free popcorn diet.

According to the latest issue of Filmfare, Sen has the popcorn for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Shah Rukh Can't - How SRK Lost The Magic [Bollywood Nosedives]

2008-07-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

Six-packed Bollywood Messiah figure, cricket entrepreneur and television personality Shah Rukh Khan is going through a tortuous time of late.

Not only is his beleaguered Temptations Reloaded Tour failing to garner headlines or coverage over its sparse run, but now as a result of his publicity-generating spat with insanely violent man Salman Khan he will drop Salman's beard Katrina Kaif from the show.

Following an argument with pumped up bad actor Salman Khan, possibly about how he's remained in the closet for so long, SRK has dumped towering Amazonian, and FHM India's Sexiest Woman In The World Katrina Kaif from the lineup of Temptations Reloaded. The tour has so far managed to rock only Rotterdam, with no more dates scheduled until October.

Further, timesonline.co.uk reports Khan is now delaying producer Viveck Vaswani’s long in the making Dulha Mil Gaya. The Times' Bollywood insider doesn't sound like he has a real connection, though, blandly quoting SRK as saying

"It is just a guest appearance involving three days work. It involves interior shots in the Mumbai studios."

Is This The End For Shah Rukh Khan? [Bollywood Nosedives]

2008-07-30T22:49:00.000-07:00

Six-packed pretty boy, ageless family favourite and all-round Messiah figure Shah Rukh Khan's Temptations Reloaded Tour has so far added only one date to its run, following its debut in Rotterdam in June. Those dates are in Berlin and Frankfurt, both in October, raising the question of whether this can even be called a tour? 3 dates scheduled 4 months apart?

A quick scan of the internet reveals a complete absence of buzz, gossip or even plain news about SRK's latest venture. Meanwhile mafia-style head family the Bachchans are garnering all the headlines and favourable reviews as they rampage across North America.

So what's the deal? Is this just a contractual obligation that Shah Rukh has to grind his way through? Is that why there's no publicity or PR being generated? Or is this the end of Shah Rukh Khan's career, has he finally lost to the timeless power of his rival Amitabh Bachchan and his family connections.

Convicted Criminal Sanjay Dutt Sympathises With Victims of Terrorism [Bollywood Hypocrisy]

2008-07-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Sanjay Dutt, porky star of Lage Raho Munnabhai was unable to celebrate his birthday yesterday.

The reason?

"I find no reason to celebrate my birthday when a large number of people have been killed in bomb blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad,"

he said from South Africa. Ironically, the actor, who in 2006 was convicted of possessing illegal weapons during the 1993 communal riots in Bombay, now says,

"I feel saddened when innocent people are killed in terror attacks. My heart pours out for those families which are victims of sinister designs of militants who are hell bent on destroying communal harmony in the country."

Dutt, in a further twist to the tale, was credited with briefly popularising Gandhigiri, the ideals of Gandhi, with his film Lage Raho Munnabahai.

Sexiest Woman Beats Most Beautiful Woman In Diamond Fight [Bollywood Catfight]

2008-07-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

World's Sexiest Woman Katrina Kaif beat world's Most Beautiful Woman Aishwarya Rai in a fight for some diamonds yesterday.

Not an actual physical fight, in fact nothing of the sort. But towering Amazonian Katrina Kaif has been offered the role of brand ambassador of Nakshatra diamonds, until recently a position held by the snooty model turned actress Aishwarya Rai.

Oddly accented Katrina will be looking to add something classy to her expanding portfolio which currently includes telephone company Spice Telecom and popular sticky drink Slice Mango.

Kat is still to sign on the dotted line for Nakshatra diamonds and if she does then, she will undoubtedly be the face of girls best friend, ‘Diamond’.

Voice of India winner drowns [Kal Ho Naa Ho]

2008-07-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

In shocking news, Voice of India winner Ishmeet Singh drowned yesterday in a swimming pool in the Maldives. Singh, who won the Star TV Voice of India competition last November, drowned in the swimming pool of his resort at around 20:00. He was in the Maldives to perform at a show.

Producer Calls Own Film "Most Awaited Of The Season!" [Bollywood Hubris]

2008-07-29T01:53:00.000-07:00

"Expect a bonanza with the most awaited movie of the season!" says Vipul Shah, the producer of that movie. Commenting that his film Singh Is Kinng is "eagerly anticipated by people within and outside the industry", Shah seems so excited about the forthcoming release the he's even started to promote the trailers that will be shown alongside it.

Apparently we can look forward to ads for Ashtavinayak's Sanju-Imran starrer Kidnap, the promo of Akki's next release Chandi Chowk To China, Rituparno Ghosh's The Last Lear [Amitabh, Preity, Arjun, Shefali], Atul Agnihotri's Hello [Salman, Katrina, Sohail, Sharman], Samir Karnik's multi-starrer Heroes and Ajit Pal's Victory [Harman], and an ad for newly-launched Indian TV channel Colours.

So, be prepared to be advertised at this summer!

Aamir To Pirates: Come And Get It [Bollywood Pirates]

2008-07-29T01:42:00.000-07:00

Aamir Khan announced the release of the Taare Zameen Par DVD on his blog yesterday, and in practically a green light to pirate DVD suppliers he said that Disney, who will be distributing the film in the UK, US, Australia, NZ and Canada, have a delay of about 3 months before they sell the film in those territories.

So, that's a 3 month gap between the arrival of the DVD in India and its arrival in the rest of the world. Not that we're advocating anything one way or the other, we'd get ourselves down to Southall and pick something up in a 3-for-£10 bargain.

Bollywood Cricket Special [Bowlywood]

2008-07-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

In a severe bout of silly season reportage NDTVMovies.com ran three stories this morning concerning that well-known sweet spot, the Bollywood / Cricket crossover.

Like crack addicts given their first taste for free by unscrupulous dealers, Bollywood fans were hooked from the start on the Indian Premier League, broadcast free-to-air in India, with its spicy mix of movie stars and sporting greats.

Now it's Bollywood's turn to return the favour, so this year we can look forward to nice but dim new boy Harman Baweja starring in Ajit Pal's Victory. Of his authentic performance he said sweetly

"They said I looked convincing in the way I wore my helmet, gloves, stood my ground, ran...I worked on all of that."

Great work, Harman, great work. It's all about the helmet. Next, cricketer Brett Lee will also be appearing in Victory, although he opted not to go the full Method route for his film debut.

"Working in the movie was fun because I just got to play myself,"

he said. Meanwhile his claim to be a music fan was contradicted by his assertion that he would

"hear anything from Metallica to Backstreet Boys."

And Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar will be appearing in a film about the devotees who flock to the Siddhivinayak temple in Mumbai. Judging by his hilarious apperance in this Canon PowerShot ad the film is one we can all look forward to.

Big B Rises From Dead, Plays LA [Bollywood Miracles]

2008-07-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

Elderly Bollywood grandad Amitabh Bachchan miraculously recovered from his life threatening man flu yesterday. The drug addled pensioner appeared on stage in LA as part of The Unforgettable Tour. Said Bachchan,

"I popped every anti biotic available, every energizer around, prayed as hard as I could and gave it all I had."

He added to his friends' and families' concern when he admitted how disoriented he had become,

"I don’t know how it all happened, but it happened."

By all accounts the LA show was a success, including a favourable review in the LA Times. Tomorrow Bachchan will appear in San Francisco, after walking on water and turning water into wine.

Bollywood Babes: "Insanely Hot!" Drools Online News Site [Bollywood Babes]

2008-07-27T04:28:00.000-07:00

Insanely hot, charming and adorable were all adjectives being thrown at the lovely ladies of Bollywood when they lined up for a photocall in LA prior to their Unforgettble Tour show that evening.

Preity Zinta, Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit were showered with superlatives in a fawning and slightly obsessive review that left no freckle or follicle unexamined. sawfnews.com reported that the stars of The Unaffordable Tour were described variously as relaxed, beautiful, charming, endearing, adorable, lean, toned and peppy.

In comparison, Abhishek Bachchan had to make do with being summed up as "bejeweled and polka dot draped"

Big B Close To Death? [Big B Suffers For His Art]

2008-07-27T02:22:00.000-07:00

In possibly the worst case of man flu ever recorded, creaking Bollywood pensioner Amitabh Bachchan continues his feverish, deranged commentary on The Unaffordable Tour from his sick bed.

In his latest psychedelic blog the seemingly drug-addled and hallucinating actor writes poetically

"An intermittent clutter on the banana tree to the right of my room window, wakes me up. A brown fuzzy tailed squirrel, precariously poised on the delicate branch of the fruit tree, moves gingerly towards an exotic looking flower that has bloomed near by. Conscious and swift in observing any unwanted movement, it reacts to the raising of my head and stops in its tracks. Fuzzy tail held high, motionless. I raise my hand. Squirrel disappears."

He goes on to mourn sorrowfully and bleakly, like Philip Roth, the deterioration of the human body

"The body creaks, the breathing is blocked, the chest whirs its objections and the feet tremble their weakness."

But like all true icons and martyrs, Bachchan realises the importance of his people. Hauling himself to his frail feet, he writes, in fantastically incomprehensible street style

"Fever and flu, just flew outa da window as swiftly as da brown squiggy, man !"

Hurrah! Ring the bells, cue dancing in the streets etc.

Kareen Kapoor In Dangerous Situation [No Kissing Please, We're Indian]

2008-07-27T01:33:00.000-07:00

Kareena Kapoor was forced to undergo a horrific ordeal, yesterday, and kiss slack jawed mumbler Sylvester Stallone.

Shooting for "Kambhakt Ishq" in LA, Kapoor managed to avoid a full-on tongue sarnie with slobbering Sly, who makes a cameo in the movie as "a man rescuing her from a dangerous situation". But she did have to kiss the unintelligible actor on the cheek. If only someone could have saved her from THIS dangerous situation!

Instead, arrogant gym bunny boyfriend Saif Ali Khan stood on the sidelines, blood boiling as he watched Kareena's romantic clinch with the doddery ex-boxer. Apparently Kareena had been quite excited about her scene with the Italian Stallion, but Saif killed the buzz with his bout of jealousy. Either way, she still gets to go home with a pumped up, middling actor, right?

Shilpa Shetty Dumps PR Guru [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-07-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

Race row victim Shilpa Shetty has dumped her PR guru. Lord knows how she's going to survive without "political parties burning effigies of Shilpa in protest." at her locking lips with gerbil stuffer and rich Buddhist Richard Gere.

Last year Shetty also dumped her UK PR guru Max Clifford due, it seems, to the smell of fish. Though others claim that Clifford dumped her.

What does the future hold for Brand Shilpa Shetty? Seems to involve drinking vodka, doing yoga and making bad movies.

Khan Clash Completely Made Up? [True Lies]

2008-07-26T01:04:00.000-07:00

Sources in Bollywood have suggested that newspapers have completely made up the supposed clash of the titans between messianic SRK and awful gym bunny Salman Khan.

Wow. Newspapers making things up? Who woulda thunk it?

Salman Khan: I Don't Speak Dog [Insanely Violent Man]

2008-07-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

Hopeless actor Salman Khan has finally reacted to reports of his violent behaviour at his beard Katrina Kaif's birthday party this week. Spewing forth a confused jumble of animal metaphors, he helpfully points out that he doesn't "understand the language of dogs". He also wishes that people would ignore his insanely violent behaviour and concentrate on his work. Something that's increasingly hard when you churn out stilted, embarrassing crap like Das Ka Dum, Salman.

Crazy Salman Khan's convoluted statement in full:

"For the next few days you will hear and read a lot of shit about me, a lot of it. Keep on reading it…but don't react to it. I don't. Like sometimes when you are traveling in a fast car and you find a dog chasing your car…barking away. You don't stop the car and start reacting to the dog…u don't…there's no point. I don't wish to react. I don't have the time for it. Besides, I don't understand the language of dogs, except for my two - Myson and Myjaan.

Unfortunately in our industry the developing trend is not to celebrate others success…every time another person is successful there will be someone trying to pull him down. You don't increase your own efforts to become successful but try to always decrease someone else's success…that's the mantra of the industry. A man is good they say but they say it in the past tense. A lot of people out there talk highly but only once a person's gone…Dead! These people whoever they are - are just doing their job - only what they know to do best.

I chose to remain silent. I do not have the time to spend reacting. But even silence speaks. Silence makes more noise than thunder. …'Bandar Sher ko chidhata hai….' Sirf aawaaz kar sakta hai... Kabhi Sher ko maar sakta hai? He can't do anything. But when the Lion roars, a whole pack of monkeys fall from trees!

So keep on reading…read all the negatives…read till they get tired of writing. Everyone goes through this…but not for long. I say just look good feel good and do good, that's it. I love you all."

Insanely Violent Salman Khan Threatens SRK's Family [Insanely Violent Man]

2008-07-26T00:33:00.000-07:00

Crazy talentless actor Salman Khan is making a serious bid to get arrested and sent to jail, by threatening Shar Rukh Khan's wife and children at their home. He was drunken as a skunk on Monday night, and got his driver to take him over there, but legged it before SRK arrived home.

Someone please put this man out of his misery FAST.

ALERT - Salman Khan has finally reacted to reports of his insane and violent activity.

Shilpa Shetty Surrounded By Gangbanging Footballers [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-07-25T01:56:00.000-07:00

Race row victim Shilpa Shetty is hosting a glamourous party in Surrey's posh St. Georges Hill estate this weekend, at her boyfriend Raj Kundra's new £5m mansion, reports the Times of India. And if the party gets out of hand all the better, as the area is full of gangbanging millionaire footballers as well as the rather more sedate Sir Cliff Richard.

While the paper raises the prospect of Sir Cliff throwing boisterous weekend parties, it's probably far more likely that he'd have a quiet gathering for his aides, with a tray of cucumber sandwiches on the side.

Shilpa also has another house in London, although whether it's located in popular Indian enclave Hounslow is not clear.

“There’s no immediate marriage plans,” Shilpa said. “I have a few commitments to wrap up first and will want to take it a little easy after marriage. Let me clear my plate which is full.”

Heartwarming news from the stick thin glamour girl who so recently railed against the dieting industry.

Look at me! Don't look at me! [Bollywood Marketing Machine]

2008-07-25T01:51:00.000-07:00

Towering Amazonian and possible beard Katrina Kaif refuses to speak to the media about the inflated catfight that took place on the night of her birthday between Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan. She will, of course, be using the same media to publicise hew forthcoming movie Singh Is Kinng.

Jews Invade Bollywood!!! [Bollywood Chutzpah]

2008-07-25T01:44:00.000-07:00

Natalie Portman is the latest Hollywood star to lend a little Bollywood style to her performance. Appearing in a Devendra Banhart video, shot as a spoof of old Indian TV serials, she plays a princess. It's a whole lot better than useless Bollysploitation like stinker Marigold.

In fact Portman may just be the latest in a long line of Jews in Bollywood - the trend goes back to the very beginnings of cinema

Big B Catches Cold, World Sneezes [Bighead Big B]

2008-07-24T23:58:00.000-07:00

Creaking Bollywood grandad Amitabh Bachchan caught a cold yesterday, putting the future of The Unaffordable Tour, as well as the future of humanity, in jeopardy.

Bachchan is in LA ahead of a scheduled performance at Sports Arena on Saturday, July 26. Words issued forth from the Bollywood pensioner, as he managed to weakly scrawl a handful of disjointed thoughts on his blog.

"Miserable.. In bed.. Down with cold and fever.. Medication on. . Desperate to be well before concert.. Damn."

If that poignant signoff isn't enough to bring a tear to your eye, then what is?

Maybe the thought that the day before he succumbed to his deadly infection the elderly actor was forced to

"Walking the streets in LA.. Freedom. Have not done this in years.. Such pleasant weather.. Street performers.. So lovely"

Right. Smog, pollution, fumes? Street performers? And isn't walking around LA one rung below being bus people?

How Vidya Got Her Groove Back [Bollywood Fashion]

2008-07-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

Vidya Balan has shown up on Bollywood's fashion radar, this time for dressing well instead of looking like a old sack of spuds.

In a detailed piece if criticism, which film journals around the globe somehow managed to miss, sawf.org has officially pardoned the serial style offender, and even suggests that her clothes "could well have contributed to her good performance" in Kismat Konnection.

Key to the miraculous turnaround, apparently, are

"belted dresses, skirt suits or colorful layered tops, western style chunky bright colored bracelet bangles, beaded long necklaces and dangling earrings."

Eat your heart out, Hollywood method actors! Get with the braelet bangles and forget all that Method stuff. Although you may want to consider the downside of Vidya's reappraisal of her acting work:

"In a few dresses with cap sleeves her upper arms looked a little thick."

Bachchans Steal Federer's Suite (leave him shirt on back) [Advantage Bachchans]

2008-07-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

Abhishek and Aishwarya Bachchan stole Roger Federer's suite at the Hilton Hotel in Toronto. Although the hotel tried to play down the news with tactful talk of "big celebrities" and "private details", Unaffordable Tour promoter Wizcraft sang a different tune.

Sabbas Joseph, director of Wizcraft International, said spitefully

"Yes. We are happy that Abhishek and Aishwarya were given the suite, which Federer usually stays in. They had a very comfortable stay in Hilton Toronto."

Federer was left arguing with officials in the lobby as the self important stars relaxed in their luxurious surroundings.

It's Stupidity To Diet, Says Stick Thin Shilpa [Shilpa Shetty Race Row]

2008-07-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

Shilpa Shetty has condemned those who diet as "sad, unfortunate and irrelevant" in her latest expose of the diet industry and the hypocrisy of Bollywood.

The long-legged, slim and athletic Shetty recommends the science of yoga instead for those wishing to achieve naturally gorgeous looks like hers.

Katrina Kaif Is So Bling [Bollywood Bling]

2008-07-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

Towering Amazonian Katrina Kaif is the cover star of the most expensive magazine in the world. Valued at more than $10,000 and encrusted with 622 diamonds, the special edition front cover is to be auctioned for the Rashid Pediatric Therapy Centre in October 2008.

Katrina Kaif on the cover of Damas-designed Kohl cover - valued at more than US$ 10,000 - to be auctioned for charity Kohl, the newly-launched ITP Lifestyle magazine catering to Asian women, has partnered with leading UAE-based jeweller Damas to create the world’s most expensive magazine. Covered in 91 grams of gold and encrusted with 622 diamonds, the special edition front cover, valued at more than US$ 10,000, is to be auctioned for the Rashid Pediatric Therapy Centre in October 2008.

At $10,000 Katrina, star of huge hits like Namastey London and Race, could afford to buy it several times over with just a few hours work, no?

Karan Johar Shocks World With Film Announcements [Kamp Karan]

2008-07-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

Camp as Christmas film director Karan Johar has shocked the world, announcing that he is making some films.

Among his forthcoming releases he mentions "Dostana”, directed by his assistant, Tarun Mansukhani, who he alleges is "a genuinely a funny guy."

The tentatively titled “Wake up Sid!”, directed by Ayan Mukerji (Kajol and Rani’s cousin). Described as "super bright" one can be forgiven for thinking he was a cleaning product. The film is the unpromising sounding "coming of age meets a slice of life film." Yawn. However it does star offbeat actress Konkona Sen Sharma, which at least makes up for the awful Carry On inspired title.

Rensil D’ Silva, the screenplay writer of “Rang De Basanti” is directing a thriller starring arrogant gym bunny Saif Ali Khan, bag of bones Kareena Kapoor, and Vivek Oberoi. It’s an edge of your seats thriller with global terrorism as a backdrop. Woo! Yeah! Can't wait to see the treatment of serious international issues combined with some lusty Khan-Kapoor action!

The sickly sounding “Koochie Koochie Hota Hai” is an animated version of Johar's first film “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai”, featuring animals. Enough said. Potential release date: late summer of 2009. Hopeful release date: NEVER.

“My Name is Khan” starts filming this year in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Washington, and Mumbai. I think we will leave it up to Karan himself to describe the film, just in case I'm overcome with emotion at his enormous, globe-straddling talent and insight.

At the heart of it, it’s a love story. At the soul of it, it makes a social comment, and at the whole of it, it’s a human triumph tale.

If you're interested, fellas, his blog also boasts a fine and extensive collection of self-portraits.

Katrina: Akshay Is Simple [Backhanded Bollywood]

2008-07-23T23:34:00.000-07:00

Looming Amazonian Katrina Kaif has said Akshay Kumar is a very simple person. She should know, after having spent the past few months in an unlikely yet lucrative relationship with Bollywood idiot and insanely violent man Salman Khan.

Salman should watch out. This girl seems to like them simple.

Preity Practices Punjabi [Dimple Cheeked Actress]

2008-07-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Dimple cheeked actress Preity Zinta threw herself into serious research in order to act her latest part as a battered Punjabi wife in Deepa Mehta's Heaven On Earth.

For 6 weeks she took a crash course in Punjabi, website apunkachoice.com reports. It also mentions that Preity has never experienced domestic violence before - and presumably she wasn't willing to take a crash course in it - so she instead read books like Roddy Doyle's The Woman Who Walked Into Doors.

She could have just given insanely violent man Salman Khan a call...

Rani Gets Painters In [Moody Rani Mukherji]

2008-07-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Rani Mukherji is finally able to move into her new house, after waiting 3 years for it to be decorated. God knows how she can afford it, when she hasn't had a hit since Ta Ra Rum Pum.

Unaffordable Tour Stars Take Well Earned Break [Zzzzzzzzz]

2008-07-23T01:54:00.000-07:00

The Unaffordable Tour stars rest their weary bones after an excrutiating schedule.

Madhuri calls!!!

They have meetings!!!

They relaxed!!!

Preity wore a cool purple dress!!!

The four Bachchans went to catch a couple of movies, including Batman and Mama Mia!!!

Madhuri stayed in her room and rehearsed!!!

And after five long days they were finally able to get something Indian to eat, at Apsara in Trinidad.

Tomorrow, they say, will be more exciting.......

Armageddon Looms As SRK and Salman Face Off [Bollywood Bad Boys]

2008-07-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

The battles lines are drawn. The clash of the titans is upon us. Newspapers are calling it a "war [that] is bound to impact the film industry". Wow, that's fighting talk where I come from.

So what exactly happened? Who knows, except that SRK apparently said something about Salman's ex-girlfriend the rather snobbish ex-Miss World, actress, dancer, model, whatever and now fully-assimilated Bachchan Aishwarya Rai.

Still, both the star's wives and family aren't letting a little stage managed furore get in the way of their shopping.

Kareena - Priyanka Spat Non-Existent [Size Zero Catfight]

2008-07-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

Kareena Kaopor reportedly said she was glad Bollywood tanker Love Story 2050 hasn't done too well at the box office. Anything to do with Kapoor turning down a part in it?

Well, at least she chose to go and make something interesting and entertaining instead. Oh, hold on. She made execrable claptrap Tashan, didn't she? Oh well. Maybe size zero and a skimpy swimsuit isn't enough to guarantee box office success when the film you're in is worthless exploitative tosh.

Bachchan: They're Out To Get Me [Bighead Big B]

2008-07-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

Ageing Bollywood grandad Amitabh Bachchan is plagued by paranoia that his enemies are trying to sabhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifotage The Unaffordable Tour.

Writing on his blog he gives us a glimpse into the deranged mind of an old man,

"I am however shocked and covered in disbelief at being privy personally to a design by certain sections of the media and the fraternity to bring down this show. To kill it, to malign and write it off. This is shameful and disgusting. I have on several occasions spoken of a bias that exists for no reason whatsoever, against us and on each occasion you my readers, have pleaded that I ignore them for greater dignity and character. But I am compelled to talk about it, dignity can take a walk for a while, because it has already started."

Admittedly he's still with it enough to drop a John Lennon reference in there, though.